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Social \ I like this Girl but.............

thefabstar
Kudos: 272
Mates: 12
u should find a time where both of u r alone and tell her about your feeling towards her and if she goes out with u and there is a few problems u should send me an email (i'm a councellor i help with problems in everyday life, relationship and other related).

BTW my email is thefabstars@hotmail.com or thefabstar@yahoo.com
01/06/2008
Bleach: The Blade of Fate
In the world, at someplace
Raven6666
Kudos: 291
Mates: 16
Not to say the other advice in the thread is bad, but don't tell her how you feel straight off, otherwise you'll be seen a bit stalkerish.

What I'd do in that situation: Spend 3 days trying to get to know her better, via herself and her good friends. After those 3 days, if she has warmed up to you, then tell her how you feel, just don't go too soppy, as yet again, it'll give a bad image to her. Try act on your purer side for those 3 days. If it works, and it should, then ease her into the idea that you do have feelings for her.

If you seriously want to know more about the situation, spend a while asking around, if he deliberately smacks her in front of people (and if there is blood splatter), then try change it ASAP, and seriously, don't stuff anything up.

If you can warm her up via MSN or whatever, as it's easier to hide emotion that way, then fine, do it that way(i've done it that way, and I don't entirely rely on speaking IRL).

The way I know some of these, well not exactly "tactics" is that I have a lung problem of sorts, my breath has a continuous stench and some emphysema-like effects, but I still can take courage to talk to the girls I had feelings for. It just depends on your "trust factor."
01/06/2008
Sydney
jons2ann
Kudos: 666
Mates: 20
Since you are on my mates list I'll give you my two cents.

From all that I've read here, all of it seems to violate one rule - that is "mind your own business". You shouldn't even confront him either. He's the boyfriend, you're the intruder.
You wouldn't like it if one of her guy friends was judging you on the outside for your treatment of your girlfriend, even if you believe you are doing nothing wrong.
You also wouldn't like it if he convinced your girlfriend that you're a bad person or not the right person and take her away.

What I'm trying to say is what happens in the circle, stays in the circle.

It's fair enough that from what you observe he is doing a lot of wrongs. But IF she opens up to you about this problem, go ahead and discuss. If she doesn't, then back off. Be smart about it.
01/06/2008
clayton, melbourne, victoria
adommer
Kudos: 2,618
Mates: 261

jons2ann said: Since you are on my mates list I'll give you my two cents.
From all that I've read here, all of it seems to violate one rule - that is "mind your own business". You shouldn't even confront him either. He's the boyfriend, you're the intruder.
You wouldn't like it if one of her guy friends was judging you on the outside for your treatment of your girlfriend, even if you believe you are doing nothing wrong.
You also wouldn't like it if he convinced your girlfriend that you're a bad person or not the right person and take her away.
What I'm trying to say is what happens in the circle, stays in the circle.
It's fair enough that from what you observe he is doing a lot of wrongs. But IF she opens up to you about this problem, go ahead and discuss. If she doesn't, then back off. Be smart about it.



You don't understand it is abuse. ABUSE i'm talking about marks all over her hands and neck. Lol my mu said the same thing. Yes, you are right abotu me to not but in something that is none of my buirness but it does affect me some way. It hurts me to see someone so beautiful get damage like that. Now what do you say to that.
01/06/2008
Pokemon Pearl
Sydney, NSW
slicingman
Kudos: 1,116
Mates: 39
One hit KO! thats what i think! or go talk to her..... then One hit KO!
01/06/2008
Esperance, Western Australia
jons2ann
Kudos: 666
Mates: 20
Mate, that still is not your problem. You are being invasive of their relationship. After all, she doesn't look like she's helpless. It's not like he's a murderer. All he's doing is being an attention seeker.

Intervene only when she tells you to.
01/06/2008
clayton, melbourne, victoria
slicingman
Kudos: 1,116
Mates: 39
So like i said talk to her..... then if she says to..... One hit KO!
01/06/2008
Esperance, Western Australia
adommer
Kudos: 2,618
Mates: 261

jons2ann said: Mate, that still is not your problem. You are being invasive of their relationship. After all, she doesn't look like she's helpless. It's not like he's a murderer. All he's doing is being an attention seeker.
Intervene only when she tells you to.


You know what. I will only do my part. ONLY. which my part consists is trying to make her feel i'm a better person to be with. okay.
01/06/2008
Pokemon Pearl
Sydney, NSW
ShyGuy
Kudos: 1,362
Mates: 122
aww.. so she actuall gets 'bashed' by her so called boyfriend?!
thats sad...

i think that what raven said was pretty good, just get to know her better for a couple of days and then eventualy tell her how you feel. you should also tell her boyfriend something that you said before like "It hurts me to see someone so beautiful get mistreated like that." judging by his responce, do whatever he did back
01/06/2008
Geelong, Victoria
slicingman
Kudos: 1,116
Mates: 39
and if he trys to KO you dodge it and One hit KO him back!
im having a bad day.....
01/06/2008
Esperance, Western Australia
brawl4all
Kudos: 2,312
Mates: 104
just say "hey, why do you always get back with him after you put up with that crap?" this could help you, i guess.
01/06/2008
New Super Mario Bros
land of the free, home of the brave
ShyGuy
Kudos: 1,362
Mates: 122
@ slicingman
u sure like the word knockout...
u do know that it is a blow that renders the opponent unconscious... right? u could get in big trouble by sending some1 2 hospital by bashing them unconscious
01/06/2008
Geelong, Victoria
slicingman
Kudos: 1,116
Mates: 39
ok then you could vs him to a match of a game like super smash or sumting like that. or tell him to go on xbox live and look for "sicingwingman" (i misspellt it when i was signing up to xbox live) in halo 3. i show him how to lose! if i need to I'll bring in reinforcements (johno597, another owner). how's that?
01/06/2008
Esperance, Western Australia
chambalam
Kudos: 4,001
Mates: 101
Since im meant to be in bed 30 minutes ago....

Become her friend, RELATIONSHIPS ARE BASED ON FRIENDSHIPS. Key word.

"hey, i like you"
"i like you too"
"will you go out with me?"
"yes"

nomatter how much you do like her, that wont last even a week.

My current GF, i got to know her by similar cause, problems with her ex, i stood by her side, told her that i loved her, that i would always be here, etc.

Trust me, being a friend is the main thing, trying to love someone without friendship is like trying to build a roof on a house without walls. Become her friend, and go from there, that way she will make up her own mind, at her own pace, so no one is in the wrong, and the best measure will come out.

Get to know her better, she should be your best friend before you go out with her, that is if you want it to last. Your choice.

cham.hayden@hotmail.com, if you have msn id be glad to talk anytime too.
01/06/2008
Ballina, the land of....nowhere
jons2ann
Kudos: 666
Mates: 20

adommer said:
You know what. I will only do my part. ONLY. which my part consists is trying to make her feel i'm a better person to be with. okay.



Okay. Then do that without having to bring the subject of her boyfriend up if she hasn't opened up to you already. You know she will trust you if she opens up to you. As chambalam suggests, BE HER FRIEND.
02/06/2008
clayton, melbourne, victoria
arceus83
Kudos: 1,322
Mates: 264
ok heres what you do. next time you see him doing something. just go over there and say just leave alone. she didnt do anything to you. and if he refuses you need to just ask the girl if she would like to come with you. and if he hits at all just hit him on the nose as hard as you can and walk away. hope this helps.
02/06/2008
Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Blue Rescue Team
land of birds
jons2ann
Kudos: 666
Mates: 20

arceus83 said: ok heres what you do. next time you see him doing something. just go over there and say just leave alone. she didnt do anything to you. and if he refuses you need to just ask the girl if she would like to come with you. and if he hits at all just hit him on the nose as hard as you can and walk away. hope this helps.



But how wrong does it sound to tell the boyfriend to leave his own girlfriend alone?

All he's doing is acting on his feelings for the girl, but he hasn't begun to understand how she feels.

All this hero business, punching out the boyfriend, sweet talking etc will make him look like a fool. It's the sh!t you find in movies 10 years ago. None of that works anymore.
02/06/2008
clayton, melbourne, victoria
chambalam
Kudos: 4,001
Mates: 101
Agreed. The world is a lot more democratical than physical.

I made friends with this girl on msn last night right? I've known her for less than 24 hours. In that time I've talked to her about some personal issues and told her I am here to listen if she needs anything?

There is an example for you guys, where in less than 2 minutes ago I said that, and now the girl is almost in love with me.

Make friends, go from there.

Friendship is the basis of Relationship
02/06/2008
Ballina, the land of....nowhere
desi
Kudos: 1,631
Mates: 25

chambalam said: I've [...] told her I am here to listen if she needs anything?


Danger, Will Robinson!

This can and will land you in the Friend Zone. When you meet a chick, and you pass yourself off as a good ear, you can easily become too close for the girl to consider a romantic relationship (because boyfriends come and go but friends should be forever, see).

It sounds counter-intuitive for people like you and me, but you have to make it clear that you have, shall we say, more base opinions of her also. I don't mean acting sleazy, but just letting her know that she's very attractive and you find it hard to keep your eyes/hands off her. If a girl knows you're attracted to her, you'll know she feels the same because she'll be willing to spend quality time and be close. If you don't let on at all, she'll always worry about whether she's leading you on etc.
02/06/2008
Sydney
chambalam
Kudos: 4,001
Mates: 101

desi said:

chambalam said: I've [...] told her I am here to listen if she needs anything?



Danger, Will Robinson!

This can and will land you in the Friend Zone. When you meet a chick, and you pass yourself off as a good ear, you can easily become too close for the girl to consider a romantic relationship (because boyfriends come and go but friends should be forever, see).

It sounds counter-intuitive for people like you and me, but you have to make it clear that you have, shall we say, more base opinions of her also. I don't mean acting sleazy, but just letting her know that she's very attractive and you find it hard to keep your eyes/hands off her. If a girl knows you're attracted to her, you'll know she feels the same because she'll be willing to spend quality time and be close. If you don't let on at all, she'll always worry about whether she's leading you on etc.



Yeh, true. But that can be harder. I understand where you are coming from and enjoy conversations about this. Personally at this age I know that you won't keep a girlfriend for a great deal of time, and my current one I really love. So I did this, and yes, I was just a friend, but after about 3 months of it, I literally can't see it failing. It's great.
02/06/2008
Ballina, the land of....nowhere
nannda
Kudos: 337
Mates: 27
argh there are many vulnerable people who go online because they get hurt by the people they "love" they go around chatting to randoms or people who they slightly know and only think they fall in "love". Comfort seekers. Sometimes I hate the internet because it ruins peoples relationships. People who have flaws in there relationships go online and flirt with other people to make themselves feel better - I believe they should just have a good hard talk with the person they're in a relationship with rather than fill the stupid void with somebody else. It's not physically cheating but it's still being unfaithful.

To adommer you sound like a really nice guy, and it's great that she has a supportive friend like yourself. Her boyfriend sounds like a jerk, but I guess it's her choice that she is with him. Maybe one day she will realise what he does is bad and may completely leave him for it. But I have a belief that if you really like/"love" someone you do what makes them happy, if he makes her happy - maybe he just needs to realise somehow what he's doing to her is wrong, maybe he'll change - if not he might just end up breaking up with her anyway which clearly just shows it's not meant to be because they don't get along well. I wish you all the best though, it sounds like you really care about her . No fist fights ok? hehe
02/06/2008
melbourne, victoria
mattmatt12
Kudos: 1,298
Mates: 77
I think you should start going out and see if she likes you more than that other guy.

Give it a try. Might work BUT if he kills you when he finds out (if he does) don't bother only when he is not here. Hey and at school i think girls like me and i just do what i normaly do. One girl idmited it.
02/06/2008
Animal Crossing: Wild World
Australia/ Sydney
adommer
Kudos: 2,618
Mates: 261
To teel you the truth when the Gilr ( who I like ) is with that guy. Iy really hurts. Like it hurts so much that I have to walk the other way. My freind tells me to let go anf forget but I really can't.
02/06/2008
Pokemon Pearl
Sydney, NSW
nannda
Kudos: 337
Mates: 27

mattmatt12 said: I think you should start going out and see if she likes you more than that other guy.

Give it a try. Might work BUT if he kills you when he finds out (if he does) don't bother only when he is not here.



Cheating is bad, being a home-wrecker is bad. Best only to do something if you know they're NO LONGER IN A RELATIONSHIP TOGETHER - you have to put yourself in the victims position, would you like to be cheated on? would you like someone to steal somebody you care about from you? I know most people here are young and may not yet understand, but I just don't want anybody to get hurt Cheating and home-wrecking just creates a big mess on yourself and the people involved.
02/06/2008
melbourne, victoria
chambalam
Kudos: 4,001
Mates: 101
I can't remember the last relationship that lasted when the 2 people had barely touched base.
02/06/2008
Ballina, the land of....nowhere
 
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